I'm in love with the ordinary...

uggghh I hate mental breakdown months… I just feel like things have been so hard lately. It’s like I get two steps ahead, then the rug gets swept out from under my feet and I fall 20 steps behind. Things are just so different than I thought they would be. And the sad part is, things will never be the same again. But I guess all things have to end at some point, and I still have an amazing little Squishy to love and hug and spoil haha. I thought I had planned for everything, everything but being a single mom pretty much. And I know tons of girls do it, and I congratulate them because it’s pretty tough„ alright it’s downright chaotic at times. Alex is already on his third ear infection so it’s always antibiotics, pain relievers, crying non-stop, grumpy and cranky, no sleep„ oh and he is teething so it makes everything that much more fun. I don’t really have too much to complain about, I am blessed and I know that I am blessed. I have a beautiful child who thinks I hung the moon. No matter how rough a day is, how much I just want to crawl into bed and not wake up„ it all seems worth it when he looks up at me with his beautiful steel blue eyes and gives me a toothless grin. I can’t believe how big he is getting already. Almost five months old and the last weight check was 13lbs and 5ozs„ but you have to take into account he was only 4lbs 4ozs when he was born so he has made so much progress. Alex is already starting to eat solids„ well baby oatmeal or rice and I sometimes mix some pureed fruit into it. In the morning I usually give him pureed bananas in his oatmeal and that seems to be his favorite so far.. Even though I miss working at Friendly’s, I think all in all it was a good idea. I need to be in a place where I could try to eliminate as much drama as I could and I felt like that was a big source of it. I am still working for the state taking care of Little Ashley as a personal care assistant so it is some income a month„ at the most 500. Right now my plan is to stay with my parents for a while, save as much money as I can and think about going back to school again„ maybe something to do with pharmacy, I enjoyed that job a lot, I always felt like I was learning something from the different names of different prescriptions or the different interactions each medicine has with each other. It was definitely a fun job and maybe some day I can get in that field of work again.

Alright„ sorry about the rant haha